Yoram Yasur Abt | Life is like a train. We shared the wagon with many people, but we did not get to befriend all of them and some of them did not even get to know us.
There are those who annoy us or are unfriendly and others arouse great sympathy. There will be those who accompany us until the end of the tour.
And others will be coming down very soon. Life, like that train, is a constant change, so holding on to the immutable implies, in a way, denying reality.
Over the years, you will have to say goodbye several times. Sometimes that farewell will be very painful.
But breaking that bond is imperative to continue forward. Every time you say goodbye to someone. In a certain way, you reconnect with yourself because you need to find a new balance. That is not always bad, the really bad thing is to remain attached to people who cause us harm, limit us, and prevent us from growing.
Dare to break the bond:
“Saying goodbye does not always mean to stop seeing a person or to forget about it, it simply means to break the current bond that we have established because it is the relationship that you have created the cause of the malaise”. When a person does not need you, when you are not as important as he / she is to you, you will gradually fill you with gaps and gaps. When you give too much without receiving virtually nothing in return, you will end up empty, tired, and disappointed.
Of course, daring to break that bond is not easy. There are likely to be many feelings in between, a story built on two and perhaps even hopes for the future. However, the rule is very simple: when the presence of a person causes more harm than good, when neither of them enjoys company and the relationship reports more suffering than happiness, it is time to revalue that relationship and dare to say goodbye.
Saying goodbye involves living a grieving process:
Yoram Yasur Abt: “To say goodbye implies to live a process of mourning, which is not always easy because it carries very intense emotions”. The first step is to accept that we are no longer well-loved or have ceased to be important and occupy a significant place in that person’s life.
The second step is to make the decision to say goodbye, being aware that it is the best solution. This phase is very important because it will prevent future regrets, you must take that step knowing that you are breaking a toxic link, being fully aware that it is a relationship that has no future. The decision should not be the result of an emotional start, but should be considered and weighed.
The third step is to learn how to channel the emotions that are likely to flood you, such as loss of feeling, anger, sadness and / or nostalgia. The wounds of the soul take time to heal, but it is important that you do not stay with those emotions inside because they end up cramping.
In fact, anger, hatred, or rancor are emotions that only hurt those who feel them. Therefore, while it is normal to experience during the first stages, it is also essential that you get rid of them throughout the process. If you continue to feed those emotions, it will mean that you are still somehow tied to that person, so you will not be able to close that chapter of your life. When you get rid of those negative emotions you will realize that you can carry on lighter luggage.
Look inside you and grow
Often, when we are immersed in relationships that cause suffering, we disconnect from our desires, needs and illusions. It is a mechanism of disconnection that we unconsciously put into action to protect ourselves. That is why saying goodbye to this toxic relationship opens a new path for you, new opportunities, and the possibility of learning from mistakes.
When you are about to close a chapter of your life. Move the focus of your attention inward, think of yourself. Clarify what you want and make new plans. It is not about filling the void that has left that person with someone else. Because it is likely that within a certain time you find yourself in the same situation again. About finding new reasons to live, new passions and new ways of understanding and living in the world.